White Picket Fences
by staceleo
Summary: What happens after happily ever after? Bella and Edward Cullen are about to find out as they start their new life together. A sequel to The Little Pink House. Romance/Drama/Humor
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I just couldn't help myself. Here is the sequel to The Little Pink House. I blame the kids, because they keep doing weird things. Oh…'Matt' really is talking like that.**

**Thank you to mauigirl60 for making this pretty!**

**Enjoy!**

White Picket Fences

Chapter 1

The new house was much larger. It wasn't as close as the little pink house was to Edward Cullen's parents, but it was only a five-minute drive which meant that Annie could remain at the same school. It was an important decision that weighed heavily on the family when looking for a new home.

It had been a white farmhouse with maroon shutters that Bella instantly became enamored with. The wraparound porch made her think of lazy Sunday breakfasts outside as the children played on the front lawn. She had already hung baskets full of bright blooms from the ceiling and a wind chime made sweet sounds in the spring breeze.

It was in this same yard that Edward was now chasing a naked Matt through the grass. A naked Matt, with a pirate's hat perched on his fair head and waving an empty paper towel roll in the air.

"Matthew, put on these pants right this instant!"

Matt giggled and yelled, "Argh! Argh!"

Bella was sitting on the porch swing and laughing hysterically.

"Matt!" Edward stopped abruptly and looked at his wife. "Could you please help, Bella?"

"I can't stop laughing!" Bella was clutching her waist.

Edward exclaimed, "Our son is a nudist!"

Bella stepped off the porch and let the grass caress her bare toes. She loved living here. "You're just jealous because _you_ want to be a nudist."

She winked at him and Edward immediately desired her. The children were excellent intimacy blockers, as Bella liked to call them. As soon as Edward would lay a single hand on Bella's breast at night, at least one child would be up begging or screaming. It was as if they had radar.

He wrapped his arms around her. "As soon as my parents are back from their cruise on Sunday, I think we need them to have a sleepover with the kids."

"I should call my dad," Bella suggested, running her fingers through his hair.

"He just started dating Sue! Let the man be with his woman," Edward stated with a grin. He was officially Charlie Swan's fishing buddy. It was an honored position. "At least one of us should be getting some."

"That's my dad! Gross!" Bella moved in closer and nibbled his ear. "You could get some lovin' if my dad watched the kids."

"It wouldn't hurt to at least ask." Edward's lips met Bella's.

He was immediately attacked by the paper towel roll.

"No! _My_ mama!" Matt was using the paper towel roll on Edward's leg. "I saves you, Mama!"

"Matty, Daddy is allowed to give Mommy hugs." Bella took the paper towel roll away from Matt.

"I's Cap Bones, Mama!" Matt's face wrinkled up to try and look mean. It only made Bella have to stifle her laughter.

"Mama!" He stomped his foot.

Sweet Matt was becoming a tiny terror. Bella secretly blamed the Volturi genes, but knew without a doubt her darling boy was more of a Swan; the Cullens were also an amazing influence.

She swung him up into her arms, his naked squirming body desperately trying to escape. "Mama! Mama! Mama!"

"Calm down, my little nudist! Let's try the potty again," she suggested.

He screamed, "I's pirate!"

"Pirate's pee in the potty, kid."

"No! In da boat, Mama!"

Edward watched as Bella took the screaming boy into the house. He felt a small hand grab his and he looked down to see a somber Annie. "What's wrong, doodlebug?"

"That child is absolutely ludicrous," she stated.

Annie was six going on sixteen.

"Where did you hear that word, Annie?"

Annie grabbed a flower from the bush and passed it to Edward. "At school. Miss Bright said that Scott Grant was being ludicrous when he said that Timmy tried eating the glue. He wasn't though. Timmy poured it into his mouth like he was drinking a juice box."

Edward gagged a little. That was revolting.

"Matt loves you like I do, my Prince. He just likes Mommy better than everybody."

Annie grabbed his hand. "Let's go read in the hammock. I will read my books to you."

She really loved reading. She was just like her mother. Edward noticed a pile of ready-to-read books in Annie's hands. "_Fancy Nancy_?"

"Yes! I also have some Olivia books, too!" She bounced excitedly.

Edward grinned. "Sounds perfect, princess!"

They heard yelling coming from inside the house. "Matt! Stop peeing in the plant!"

Edward gave a chuckle. He bet she wasn't finding it so funny anymore.

XXXXXX

Date night.

Bella was twitchy with anticipation. Lighting candles on the table, she surveyed the room. Everything was perfect from the bouquets she picked from the garden to the wine that Edward loved the best which was on the table.

Charlie was watching the kids with Sue and her grandchildren. It was surprisingly easy to get the children to want to stay with grandpa when they found out that Leah and Seth were going to be there.

The buzzer on the oven timer went off and Bella rushed to the kitchen. She pulled out the lasagna and danced over to the table. She only slipped once on the woven rug that Emmett's girlfriend had made her. Victoria was sweet, but the rugs she wove were hazardous.

"Music! We need romantic music!" Bella talked to herself a lot when she was alone.

Off to the stereo she flew and was blasted by The Wiggles. Her darling children were messing with the volume again when the stereo had been turned off. Bella's ear drums rattled. It was true that Bella was, in fact, planning a Wiggly party with Edward, just not one that included a dinosaur named Dorothy. That was too disturbing to even dwell on.

Grabbing her iPod, Bella decided some soothing tunes would be best. Vintage Pixies caught her eye instead of something romantic like the Dave Matthews Band. As a college girl in the late nineties, it was true for Bella that old Dave had panty-dropping powers like no other. It had been a frat boy standard, after all. Tonight, though, Bella thought she had time for some Frank Black screaming before Edward got home.

Bella was wrong.

Rushing in, Edward looked around in a panic. "Bella, are you okay? Why are you screaming?"

Bella was too busy head banging to notice.

Edward crossed his arms and watched her with a grin. "Sweet wife, did the late eighties come to visit? Are we going to rock out tonight?"

She turned quickly and launched herself into his arms. "There aren't any children here!"

"I can make love to you without worrying? No Annie trying to barge in for water? No Matt screaming for you to sleep in his bed?" Edward was feeling her excitement.

"That bed is so tiny," Bella shuddered. "Matt uses me as a body pillow and I can't breathe. It has to be why I'm so tired all the time."

"Or, could it be that you stay up all night watching TV?" Edward suggested. This earned him a light smack on the shoulder.

Edward kissed her head. "I'm teasing."

"You smell nice," Bella said, giving his head a sniff. "You took a shower at the hospital."

It was Edward's turn to visit his patients in the pediatric ward. After the wedding, Edward decided to open his own practice as a pediatrician in town with a fellow doctor named Paul. Annie and Matt had made a profound impression on him and he found that he would prefer dealing with the smallest of patients. Traveling to Seattle had also become a chore and he'd wanted to spend as much time as possible with his family. It felt good to be with them and he was miserable when he didn't have them nearby. The exception being date night, because all he really wanted at that moment was to pull Bella's dress over her head and take her on the wooden floor.

"I thought it would work best, so I didn't have to waste time when I got here to shower." He started nibbling her neck.

Bella grinned, as he sucked on the sensitive spot next to her ear. "I could always shower with you or we could take a bath. They're so underrated."

He bit her ear making her nails rake down his back. He looked up and whispered, "I still feel like a dirty boy. I think you should wash me off."

Bella giggled. That's when she smelled smoke coming from the kitchen. "Friggedy fuck! The garlic bread!"

She pushed Edward away and barreled toward the kitchen, grabbing an oven mitt. She frowned, pulling out the smoking loaf of bread and placing it on top of the stove. "I guess we're not having garlic bread."

"We don't need garlic bread, sweetheart. I want my breath minty fresh for you," Edward admitted, as he pulled her back into his arms. He opened the front of her dress to get to her breasts. "I like this black bra, sweets, but I'd like it even better off you."

Bella smiled at his tongue licking around the lace of her bra. "We're having lasagna, so the garlic breath is a foregone conclusion."

He stopped abruptly and looked up. "You're famous homemade lasagna? Why didn't you say so? Time to strap on the feedbag, woman!"

"Really, Cullen? I was just getting in the mood and now you want to stop and eat? We can warm it up later in the microwave!"

"It's better right out of the oven!" Edward pouted. "Hey, I have an idea!"

He threw Bella over his shoulder and rushed her into the dining room. She squealed, "What are you doing?"

"Having my cake and eating it too!"

"We're having cake for dessert!" Bella squeaked. Edward gave her bottom a smack. "Hey!"

"Excuse me, I should be more specific. Having my Bella and eating my lasagna too!" He used one hand to move the dishes away from the middle of the table. Thank goodness it was a large table.

Bella wiggled and kicked. "Don't break the good dishes, Edward!"

"I won't..." A wine glass fell from the table and smashed on the floor. "Shit! I'll buy you a new one!"

"They're heirlooms, Edward!"

He laid her on the table and went to unwrap her dress. "Shush! Have I mentioned that I love this dress? It's like unwrapping a beautiful present."

He kissed her belly button. The broken wine glass was soon quickly forgotten.

Edward grabbed the wine bottle and poured a little onto Bella's chest. He licked it off and moved down to her panties. He removed them slowly and buried his face into her clit. He sucked on it with his mouth, as his finger entered her and started pulsing inside her.

She grabbed his hair and moaned, "More!"

He added two more fingers and unbuckled his pants with his other hand. This was taking more coordination then he'd ever imagined, but he was a doctor, for God's sake. He was a master at multitasking.

"Oh, sweet mother of all that is...fuck, Edward Cullen! Damn...damn...damn...!"

Edward pulled away to get undressed fully and Bella pulled him back by his hair. She groaned. "Just pull down your fucking pants, Cullen and let's do this!"

He really loved it when she was dirty and demanding. Round two would be sweeter and more loving, but he now realized that life with kids meant sometimes it was nice to get a physical release and his lady wanted hers now.

"As you wish, buttercup!" he cried, pushing into her.

"Oh, God...you...ugh...quoted...oh...oh...oh..._The Princess Bride_!" Bella panted. "Shit! I fucking love you, Edward!"

Bella still had the habit of cursing like a drunken sailor when being intimate. Luckily, Edward adored her salty language.

"Bell...I'm so...so...close!" Edward was pumping into her furiously, causing the dishes to rattle on the table.

The phone rang.

"Oh, come on!" Bella yelled in frustration. She was also so very, very close.

Edward muttered, "I'm trying, sweets!"

He was so in the zone, he didn't even register the phone ringing.

"Ed, ugh...oh...it could be about the...oh, God...kids!" Bella tried half-heartedly to push him off. "Oh...one more minute..."

"Is that the phone?" Edward grunted.

"We need to get tha...yes!" Bella yelled in triumph, as they rolled off the table.

"Oh, yes, Bell!" Edward screamed, as they both crashed to the floor, along with the dishes. "Ouch!"

Bella crawled, still partially dressed, to the phone. Without checking the caller ID, she barked into the phone, "What?"

"Bella...Miss Swan...it's Garrett."

Bella almost dropped the phone.

"Oh, hey, Garrett." She looked at Edward who had crawled over to sit next to her and shrugged. "What's up? Is this about going out to dinner? I need to see about a sitter and..."

Garrett had been trying to set up a double date. He was still with Kate and Bella had been pushing him off. She really had no inclination to spend time with that woman socially.

"No, I have some news. You aren't going to like it."

Bella squeezed Edward's hand. "What?"

"Alec is testifying for the prosecution," Garrett said quietly.

"I knew that." She wasn't surprised that after Aro had tried to kill him, Alec would happily do whatever he could to get his father thrown in jail forever.

"Right, well...the prosecutor is giving him a plea bargain."

"Don't say it, Garrett." Bella had angled the phone, so Edward could hear the exchange.

Garrett was heard swallowing thickly in the background. "I wish I didn't have to, Bella. No jail time."

Edward cursed loudly, "Fucking bullshit!"

He had no doubt that Alec would try to worm his way back into Bella's life. Marriage to Edward wouldn't be a deterrent.

"Garrett, I need to go," Bella said softly. Her mind was working overtime trying to come to grips with the possibility of Alec playing a part in their lives again.

"I'll try to stop this, Bella." Garrett sounded as upset as Bella and Edward were.

Edward took the phone. "I'll call you tomorrow, Garrett."

He wrapped his arms around Bella. She looked up at him and asked, "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to face this challenge and conquer it. We always do." He kissed her softly.

She was his life and he would protect her always.

XXXXXX

In a hospital bed in a private clinic in Boston laid a man that should have never awakened.

His nurse was the first one to notice his eyelids fluttering. She quickly alerted the doctor in charge.

"Susan, what's happening here? If he isn't flat-lining, then call Jeff when he comes on in fifteen." Dr. Scott Martin had been on call most of the night and, even with the constant chugging of coffee, he was irritable.

"Doctor, that patient's waking up!"

"That's impossible! I think you need to get a good night's sleep," he complained.

That was until the surly doctor looked down to see two piercing blue eyes staring up at him.

James King looked at the man and whispered, "Alice."

This was very bad indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello there again.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking this journey with me again. The reviews have been lovely and have made me so very happy!**

**A big thank you to mauigirl60, she fixed my words and made them flow so nicely.**

**Oh…as usual the real life antics of 'Annie' and 'Matt' are in this chapter. I'm already frightened about what their teenage years.**

Chapter 2

Bella was napping on the couch while Edward was playing chase with Matt outside. Annie was at school. The house was blissfully quiet and serene. The couch they'd picked out for the living room was fantastically comfy. Bella was having sweet dreams of meadows filled with of poppies, her hair blowing in the light breeze.

That was until she started getting attacked by bees. She ran and tripped around the meadow, waving her arms around as she was being stung on the face.

"Stop it! Please stop!" she screamed. The bees were laughing at her. Those stinging bastards!

That's when she woke up with a jolt, seeing a penny moving toward her face. It hit her in the middle of her forehead. Jane was laughing hysterically.

"Get thee gone, demon woman!" Bella sat up and pointed to the doorway.

"You have to admit flailing Bella is hilarious, hooker." Jane giggled evilly.

Bella lobbed the penny back at Jane's head. It hit her on the chin. "How does that feel?"

"I like the pain, baby!" Jane giggled and pulled out her keys.

"Tell that to your woman." Bella tried to lie back down on the couch. "Also, tell her she can suck it!"

Jane and Rose had moved into the little pink house and promptly repainted it blue. Bella was still angry.

"Let's pick Annie up from school and take her clothes shopping. Summer's coming and your monsters need shorts."

"I want to sleep!"

"Sleep when you're dead, old-timer. I need a sexy frock for a party Rosie's taking me to." Jane wiggled her eyebrows. "I have dirty ideas about sneaking around in the woods."

"Leave me and my kid out of it," Bella said with a giant yawn.

Jane wrinkled her nose. "No. I can't deal with Matt wearing his sister's floral shorts hand-me-downs again this year. You should be ashamed."

Bella thought Matt had looked adorable in his sister's old ballerina footie pajamas. He would do pirouette for her and his floppy hair would fly in the air. It was the cutest thing ever.

"He doesn't care at this age!"

Jane groaned. "Mommy dearest, those kids of yours are already odd ducks. They're part Alec."

Unfortunately, they _were_ part Volturi. Bella was more inclined to believe it was nurture and not nature that would determine their future destinies.

"You heard about him, right?" Bella played with the tassels of her throw blanket. "Alec?"

"My Chicken Little brother?" Jane patted Bella's hand. "He called and waxed poetic about how his two hours in the big house made him find Jesus."

Bella immediately thought Jane was joking. "He was saving his own hide."

"Indeed, Al became like a little song bird. He sang so sweetly to get out of trouble and take out Papa," Jane stated and grimaced. "Supposedly, he did all this to be a better man."

Bella's brain shouted, _Bullshit!_

Instead she said, "I guess we'll see."

"I guess we will," Jane agreed. Both women's faces were grim.

They heard barking and Edward yelling from outside. Bella couldn't help smiling. She grabbed Jane's hand. "Let's go save him."

"What is DS up to?" Jane loved that horribly behaved dog.

Bella pulled her friend toward the door. When they headed into the grass, Bella pointed to the hilarious scene before her. "Much mischief!"

Edward was chasing DS thorough the yard, holding her leash. She was zigzagging and weaving and he couldn't catch up. In fact, Edward was tripping over his own feet and barely catching himself before he landed face first into the ground. The puppy was quick and she had grown to be a big girl. Matt was jumping up and down, clapping for the dog.

"I told him not to let her off the leash," Bella commented, with her arms crossed and a smug look on her face. "Does that man ever listen? Oh, no! DS gives him a look with those big, brown eyes and he melts. That dog doesn't respect him in the least. I'm the alpha around here."

"Why do I find it shocking that you're the leader of the pack? More like court jester." Jane grabbed her phone out of her pocket. "May I film this?"

"I would be disappointed if you didn't, you wacky wombat."

Jane almost dropped her phone at that one. "Where the hell did you get wacky wombat?"

Bella scrunched up her face. "I thought it was whimsical and unexpect..."

"Bella! Aren't you going to help me?" Edward yelled.

She held up her hand to have him hold on. "You really didn't like it? It isn't like yours have been winners lately. Jane, when you're in a happy relationship, all cool nicknames go flittering out of your head."

Jane really was getting soft now that she was happy, at least according to Bella. Everyone else would disagree but, in all truthfulness, Bella did know Jane best.

"You know nothing about nickname skills, Swan Dive!" Jane exclaimed.

Bella shrugged. "I know that calling me Swan Dive was just poorly executed and lazy."

"Take it back!" Jane tried to pin Bella's arm behind her back. "Say I'm God's gift to snarky names!"

"No!"

"Bella!" Edward called out as his face hit the dirt. He looked up and had a dirt beard. "Could you _please_ help me?"

Bella and Jane looked up from their lame wrestling match.

Matt had been pointing to them and shouting, "Mama win! Mama win!"

"What, Edward?" Bella asked. She had forgotten about the dog tag going on in front of them. "Matty wants Mama to win."

"Princess Strawberry Jam needs to go inside!" he yelled.

Annie and Edward had changed that poor animal's name yet again. Bella just shook her head and whistled.

DS came running over with her tail wagging. Bella gave her a pat on the head. "Come on, DS. Mommy's going shopping with Janie."

"Aren't you glad I sent you that mutt?" Jane said with a grin.

"She did save me from a monster," Bella admitted. "Then again, DS chewed up my favorite shoes."

"The red sneakers with the pink polka dots?"

"Yes," Bella agreed. "I loved them."

"They were hideous," Jane stated. "Good riddance to ugly footwear."

"Matt come, Mama?" The little boy ran over and grabbed Bella's leg.

Bella swooped him up. "We're going to be buying clothes, little buddy. No toy stores today."

Matt kissed Bella's nose. "Please, Mama? Toys?"

"No."

"Please, Mama?"

"No."

Matt gave her another kiss. "Mama? Toys, please?"

You had to give the kid some credit that he was that persistent.

"Mama? I like toys!"

He grabbed Bella's cheeks with his little hands. Matt squeezed and made a face like a monster. "Please, Mama, toys!"

"Nope."

"Down, Mama!" Matt ran over to Edward. "Dada, up!"

Edward grinned. He was finally Matt's favorite again. "What is this all about?"

"Mama, no toys!" Matt cuddled up to Edward.

Edward would take what he could get.

He smiled, holding Matt, while he watched Bella and Jane laughing as they walked into the house. DS followed happily.

This was how Edward always dreamed what his family would look like. In actuality, it was even better.

XXXXXX

Bella and Annie brought home bags of summer clothing and pizza.

Annie wasn't a happy camper and stomped to her bedroom. She was complaining loudly to her dolls.

"What's wrong with Princess Annie?" Edward asked.

"She was having a lovely time until we picked up the pizza." Bella pulled out the plates and took them to the kitchen table.

Edward chuckled. That was vintage Annie. "Let me guess...she wanted Chinese. Did you remind her she picked last time?"

"Of course," Bella said, getting the drinks. "She'll get over it in a minute. I got her a white pizza, so she'll be happy once she gets over the vast injustice of not getting her way."

"Kids these days," Edward said, with a chuckle. He took Annie's backpack over to the table. "Does she have any homework?"

"Does she ever? She's in kindergarten so that would be a negative."

"I had homework when I was in kindergarten," Edward announced, opening the pink pony covered bag.

"That's a bunch of bull, Cullen." Bella rolled her eyes. "Let me see...you also waded through ten miles of deep snow to get to the old one-room schoolhouse?"

Edward smirked. "I did. We also had to hunt and forage for our food. I could only catch frogs. I bet you couldn't even imagine the indigestion I had when I studied animal husbandry at the ripe old age of seven."

"You are such a nut!" Bella laughed.

Edward pulled out a note from Annie's teacher, which wasn't an unusual occurrence. Her teacher was always keeping the parents notified of their children's progress. This one was different, though, than the usual letters of young Annie excelling in her various studies. Edward tried not to laugh as he read it. He finished reading it and handed Bella the note. "I think you need to check this one out."

Bella scanned the paper in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she calmly called up the stairs. "Annie, please come down here!"

Edward followed with his hands deep in his pockets. "You have to admit it's funny."

"Yup, hilarious! I think we need to put it in the scrapbook and show how proud we are of her this day." Actually, Bella wanted to laugh, but was trying to remain the responsible parent.

Annie stomped down the stairs. "Is this about the pizza? I'm not hungry, Mother!"

Six going on sixteen. Yes, indeed.

"Actually, pumpkin, I was wondering about how your poem at school went today." Bella crossed her arms. "You read it to the class today, right?"

Annie's eyes suddenly got very, very big. "Yes. It was about kittens."

Bella gave a small smile. "That's right. Can you recite it to Prince Daddy?"

Annie looked visibly nervous. "Okay. I love kittens. Pink kittens. Fluffy kittens. Cute kittens. Furry kittens. I like kittens."

"Isn't that lovely, Edward?"

Edward took Bella's hand. He hoped if she squeezed it hard enough, he wouldn't start laughing. "It's the bee's knees."

"Bees don't have knees!" Annie exclaimed, forgetting that she was about to get in trouble. These adults said the craziest things! "They do have stingers. They die when they sting you! Did you know that?"

"I did!" Edward exclaimed. "_Bee's knees_ is an expression."

"Oh." Annie was still confused.

Bella groaned. "Back to the poem, please! Annie, darling, you didn't say kittens at any point today when you read it to your classmates."

"I...I..."

"You replaced the word _kittens_ with _poop_." Bella squeezed Edward's hand. Hard. She could tell he was about to crack. "Please, could you tell me why in the world you would do that?"

"It was funny!" Annie gave a huge grin. "Everyone laughed!"

"Did your teacher laugh?" Bella glared at Edward who was biting his lip and starting to shake.

"No, Mommy. She really is a stick in the mud," Annie stated. "She didn't laugh at all! Poop is funny!"

Edward lost it. He started cracking up.

"No potty humor at school, Ann!" Bella scolded and elbowed Edward in the stomach.

"Hey, Annie? What do you get when the poop crossed the road?" Edward asked, his eyes full of mischief.

Bella put her hands in front of his mouth. "Not appropriate!"

Annie giggled. "Could it be...?"

Edward pulled his hand away and he yelled with Annie, "Poop!"

"That is juvenile, Edward!" Bella complained.

"You love it!" He kissed her.

She did love it when he kissed her. But, the joke? Not so much.

Matt bounced in singing, "Tigger! Tigger! Tigger!"

Annie, still on a high from being saved by her prince, said, "Sing poop, Matt!"

"Poo?" Matt asked, as he stopped. He looked at his family in confusion. "Oh...poo!"

He stuck his hand into his diaper and pulled out a handful of the stuff. "Yuck, Mama!"

How Bella wished that kid would start using the damned potty!

"Don't put your hands down your pants!" she cried.

"Sorry, Mama!"

The phone rang, Edward was about to run and get it, but Bella pulled him back.

"_You_ made jokes about poop. _You_ can clean the kid!"

He whined, "But, honey..."

"Clean it, Edward!" Bella marched over to the phone.

Before she could even say hello, Esme happily shouted into the phone. "Alice is getting married! Don't tell her I told you, because she's planning on calling you tomorrow."

"What?" Bella was surprised, but excited.

"He asked her on the ranch!" Esme said with glee. "The wedding will be there!"

Bella couldn't help grinning and mentally made a packing list. It looked like they were headed to the Lone Star state.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hi everybody! I apologize for the wait!**

**Thank you to mauigirl60 for making this chapter pretty!**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

A household of three sick children was tiring.

Bella considered Edward to be one of the children. She'd always heard doctors were the worst patients, and it was the truth.

She balanced a tray of orange juice, crackers, coloring books and crayons on a tray and went into the family room. The cartoons on TV were way too loud. Annie and Matt were staring at Henry Huggle Monster like small zombies. Edward was playing solitaire on his laptop while hacking into tissues, which littered the floor.

It was a germ factory, which was why Bella was wearing one of Edward's surgical masks. There was no way she had time to catch their plague.

Bleary-eyed and cranky, Edward frowned as he looked at Bella. "I wanted a Coke."

"Oh, shi...shoot! That's right. I'll get that for you in a minute. Why don't you have some OJ first?" She started to put the glass down in front of him. Bella kept having to watch her language, because her temper was on a short fuse.

He whined, "I didn't want orange juice!"

It would probably be in very poor taste if she poured the juice over his head. It was tempting though; so very, very tempting.

"I thought we were having chicken noodle soup?" Annie questioned, as she coughed without covering her mouth. Bella could imagine that the germs were having a fiesta in her home.

"I only have two hands, Ann!" Bella said through clenched teeth.

Annie crinkled her little face. "I can't understand you, Mommy! Take off that mask!"

"No way!" There was so much to do. She took a deep breath. "Honey, Mommy needs to be well, so I can take care of you guys."

"Thank you, Mommy." That one little statement made Bella's heart sing.

"Straw, Momma!" Matt screamed. Then his face crumpled. "I peed!"

There were tears, as Bella took Matt to change into new pants. They were Bella's tears, because she was beyond exhausted.

School had just ended and that's when the hacking started. First, with Matt - a little cough here and there, which made Bella think pollen was the culprit. The flower garden, with blooms the colors of the rainbow, was gorgeous, but was making stuffy noses galore. That would have been the best case scenario but, unfortunately, it wasn't the reason. Next, Annie fell victim to the sniffles and then Edward succumbed quickly.

Bella returned Matt to his side of the couch so she could serve lunch. She headed toward the doorway, as Edward called out, "Did you pack my black socks?"

Deep breaths.

Bella closed her eyes and imagined the ocean. It didn't work, because her family started screeching like seagulls, and the scavenger birds filled up her relaxing happy place.

"I need to pack three dolls!"

"Mama, I want Cars Twoee!"

"I need you to pack my black belt with the...

"Be quiet!" Bella yelled, quickly covering her mask with her hand.

As if she didn't have a million other things to take care of, they were going to be flying to Texas for Alice's wedding.

"I'm getting lunch and you will _all_ be quiet!" No one messed with Bella's bossy voice. "Watch the Huggle monster."

"It's actually Sophia the First," Annie corrected. "Look, Prince Daddy!"

"Quiet!" Bella was losing it. "I'll get lunch."

Stomping into the kitchen, Bella sighed loudly. The kitchen table was littered with lists for the trip. A list for the suitcases, a list for the carry-on bags, a list of all the doggie crap that DS was going to need, because Jasper wanted to work with her on the ranch. That man was a certifiable dog magician. He took horrible puppies and made them tolerable with a few quiet words. He should have his own television show.

Bella was still overjoyed about Alice's and Jasper's news. She was going to be matron of honor and, in true Alice fashion, was allowed to wear whatever sundress she wanted. It was going to be a simple ceremony at the little white church that the Whitlock family attended, followed by a BBQ and hoedown at the ranch. Simple and fun, Bella's favorite combination.

It was just getting there that was going to be the issue.

A knock sounded on the door and Esme came in, her hands full of supplies and snacks. "Isabella, you look like you're coming down with that bug that's taking out the town. Did Edward or the children give it to you?"

"How did you know?" Bella looked over from the soup she was ladling into bowls.

"Edward called." Esme moved Bella away from the stove and finished getting the lunch ready. She laughed, as Bella groaned. "Don't be mad at him, dear. He thought he was helping."

"His helping has been driving me mad!"

Esme grabbed the tray. "I know the feeling. I raised that boy. Emmett is worse, so count your blessings. Rest, sweet girl. There's packing to be done and we're going to have to be healthy for the trip."

"You don't want to get this crud, Esme!" Bella plopped down at the table. She was feeling tired. So very tired.

Esme watched as Bella rubbed her eyes and knew she made the right decision to butt in to her family's life. "I've had it all. Rest your feet and let me take care of you now."

Bella just smiled, because, truth be told, she was ecstatic Esme was taking over. She was tired and cranky, not to mention feeling completely overwhelmed. Placing her head on the table, Bella fell asleep.

It could have been a couple of minutes or a few hours, but a tickle on her back woke her up.

She screamed.

It wasn't Esme. It wasn't Edward. It was most definitively not the tiny fingers of her children.

It was Alec's face she was looking up at.

He clamped his hand over her mouth and Bella promptly bit him.

"Fucking hell, Bella! What was that for?" He clutched his hand and stumbled backward.

"What are you doing in my house?" Her whole body was shaking. "How did you know where I live?"

He shrugged. "Phone book."

"We're unlisted." She watched as Alec just smiled at her. "Keeping tabs on me, Alec?"

"You really should keep your doors locked." He leaned against the counter with that same smug smile. "I thought it would be a good idea to keep tabs on my kids."

"You haven't seen _my_ children in months. Since you aren't in prison, I was hoping you would've fallen off the face of the earth by now!" Bella said, as she walked over to the door and opened it.

"Out!"

"Really nice, Bella."

Bella pointed to him and then the door. "That's me. Sugar and spice and everything nice, now get the _fuck_ out of my house!"

"I want to see them," he stated and his fists tightened. Alec Volturi still hated being told no.

"I want a lot of things and I don't get them. I learned how to deal and so should you!"

Bella glared at him as he approached her. Maybe she could push him out the door, lock it and call her dad to get a restraining order.

"They're both sick and really don't need the stress of seeing their fair-weather father."

Alec was never one to be able to hold his temper. He grabbed her t-shirt. "You can't keep me from my fucking children, you bitch!"

"Did you learn that when you were learning to love Jesus in the big house?" Bella was not going to let him intimidate her. "How very Christian of you!"

He pulled her close. "We can be nice about this or I can play..."

Esme came into the kitchen and cried out, "Get off her!"

Alec was distracted for a moment and that was when Bella sneezed in Alec's face, a green mucous blob that went straight into his open mouth.

He screamed, "That's disgusting!"

Alec dropped Bella and flew across the room.

"Welcome to the plague, Volturi!" Bella laughed at first, but it turned into a hacking cough.

Esme rushed over and felt Bella's head. "Honey, you have a fever! To bed!"

"She wasn't lying?" Alec realized that he now had a very good chance of becoming really sick. He should have just run out the door.

Esme grabbed his ear and pulled him toward the door. "You need to leave! I would suggest investing in some orange juice and tissues."

Edward stumbled in to watch his mother physically push Alec out the door.

"Mom...what?"

He had a fever and was so exhausted he thought he was hallucinating.

"Edward, your Mommy has got this," Esme said. "Help get Bella upstairs to the bedroom. I'll take out this trash and you two rest."

"The kids..." Bella began, but the coughing started up again.

"…have Nana Esme." Esme tried to shut the door on Alec. "Go away!"

"I want to talk about a custody agreement!" Alec yelled through the closing door.

Bella leaned against the drooping Edward. "They stay with me and you'll be lucky to be invited to their high school graduation!"

Esme gave one final mighty push and locked the door. "If he comes back, I'll call Charlie."

"Why was the plumber here? Did the dishwasher break?" Edward asked.

"Bed!" Esme pointed to the door. "I'll bring up Tylenol and cold drinks after I check on the babies."

Edward looked confused. "My mom wants us to get it on?"

"Sleep, Edward." Bella coughed again.

Bella helped get Edward settled into their bed and started to change into her pajamas. She looked over to see his eyes on her. "What?"

"You're so beautiful." He had a sleepy smile on his face.

She smiled, because Bella knew how lucky she was to have him. "You're sick, babe. I do appreciate that, though."

He opened up his arms. "Snuggle with me."

Bella settled into Edward's arms, which felt like a furnace. "I should call you hot stuff."

The bed was so comfy and soft, Bella's eyes shut immediately. That didn't stop her favorite pair of lips from sucking on her neck.

"Stop," Bella half-heartedly patted his arm. "Your mom!"

"Oh, God!" Edward exclaimed. "It would warp her mind if she sees us."

Bella thought she was safe, but then Edward grabbed her breast. "I know why they call these fun pillows!"

"I don't care!" Bella wanted quiet.

He squeezed again. "They're fun and they feel like pillows."

"Edward!"

"A quickie before my mom comes up?" He was persistent, even with having the chills.

Bella sighed. "Go to sleep."

"I love you, Bells."

"I love you, too, Edward."

Then there was nothing but blissful, snot-filled sleep.


End file.
